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“Growth does not have to be systematic. The way of the artist is a meandering path.”

- Enrique Martinez Celaya (On Art and Mindfulness, 2015)

What does it mean to grow as an artist? Is it possible to know when an activity produces growth? How would that growth be measured?

As much as I derive pleasure from the act of making art, I’ve always had a drive to get better, to achieve my expectations. I’ve never been satisfied with doing the same thing over and over without striving for a more elegant expression of my vision. With the goal of improving, I’ve made hundreds of paintings, sought out instruction, and incorporated thoughtful critique of my work.

At times, I have let my art practice—mostly painting—go ignored. When I was not producing new work, was growth still happening? How would I have known? 

Fallow fields help the soil rest for the next growing season. There were periods in my life when I barely painted at all. Despite wanting to, other aspects of my life commanded my full attention. These times were often intensely emotional, and only after the hiatus would changes in my art practice be revealed. My color palette lightened after my relationship turmoil resolved. More expressive marks showed up in my paintings after the long, sad decline of my father finally came to an end.

I have pursued art practices for the sake of exploring other mediums—printmaking, Chinese brush painting, photography, drawing—without the intent of producing finished work. These diversions at times felt like cheating, ignoring my main artistic commitment: making better paintings. Letting go of the expectation for constant productivity can be alluring or guilt inducing, depending upon how puritan one is.

Improvement as an artist is of critical importance to me. It has taken years, but I have learned to welcome a less linear form of growth and trust my asides as essential elements of my artistic life. While the direct practice of creating work is crucial, other activities are as well: watching patterns in the flames of a bonfire, facing my fears of dancing on stage in front of an audience and tending my gardening beds. 

Embracing the tangential, celebrating the momentary, and cherishing the hard times, are all aspects of an artistic life. Personal development fertilizes growth of an artistic practice.

Carol Talley

www.caroltalley.com